What is Bullying? Bullying happens when someone hurts or scares another person on purpose. Bullying occurs repeatedly and over time. The behavior of bullying occurs in four forms: physical, verbal, emotional or exclusion, and cyber-bullying. a. Physical Bullying – Hitting, kicking, damaging property, or any physical aggression b. Verbal Bullying – Teasing, name calling, put downs, or other behavior that would deliberately hurt others’ feelings or make them feel bad c. Emotional or Exclusion Bullying – Starting rumors, telling others not to be friends with someone or other actions that would cause someone to be without friends d. Cyber-bullying – Using electronic devices such as but not limited to computers and cell phones to bully (bullying defined above) others through methods such as posting comments, statements, or pictures on blogs, websites, social networks, text messaging, instant messaging and email. Tips for Parents to help stop bullying: Stress Respect. Discuss why it’s important to treat others how you’d like to be treated, how to solve conflicts peacefully, and not to make fun of differences. Children who bully often lack empathy. Ask your child how he/she thinks others feel. Set the example. Treat everyone with respect---including your child. Explain Bullying and Why It is Wrong. Make it clear that bullying violates your rules and values. If you learn your child is bullying, take it seriously. Bullying is deliberately and repeatedly doing something that hurts a person. Bullying can include physical acts, verbal acts, indirect social acts (like excluding people from the lunch table or spreading rumors), and cyberbullying. Prepare Your Child. Discuss how to respond to bullying. For Example: Avoid trouble, stick with friends. Ignore minor teasing. Try to stay calm. Be assertive. Use humor to do something friendly to defuse the situation. Don’t reply to cyberbullies but save messages or other evidence. Tell a teacher if the situation becomes serious. Tell you (the parent) about ongoing or serious problems. Teach Assertiveness. Help your child practice expressing his or her opinions or needs in a firm, yet respectful way. Being assertive earns more respect than being passive or too aggressive. Build Social Skills. Help your child understand that he/she is worthwhile and has the right to be treated with respect. Talk to your child about how to control emotions and handle new situations, conflict and adversity. Encourage your child to try new things, solve problems, make new friends, and engage in activities with other children who have similar interests. Discuss Responsibility. Encourage your child to show disapproval if bullying happens in front of other children. Tell the bully to stop or at least explain to your child the importance of not joining in. Support the target of the bullying. Get help if there is danger and always report what happened to an adult. (copyright 2011 Channing Bete) NASP Document on Bullying Prevention Tips for Parents From the National Association of School Psychologists Preventing bullying is a top priority for parents and professionals in our school community. The behavior interferes with children’s ability to learn and feel safe. Bullying is not simply a case of “kids being kids,” but is a learned anti-social behavior that can be unlearned or, better yet, prevented. As adults we need to create an environment in school and at home where bullying and teasing are not tolerated under any circumstances.” Everyone in our school needs to be committed to eliminating bullying behavior of any type. Our goal is to help our students understand the appropriate way to treat others, and to ensure that no one is victimized by cruel or threatening behavior. As part of this effort we are working to transform what experts call the “silent majority” into a “caring majority” of students who become part of the anti-bullying solution. Elements of effective anti-bullying efforts include: Establishing clear consistent consequences for bullying behavior that all children understand. Incorporating positive behavioral interventions with loss of privileges or other consequences. Training for all school personnel including bus drivers, playground monitors, after school program supervisors, etc. Intervening immediately when bullying occurs, praising children when they do the right thing, and offering children alternatives to bullying. Teaching children to work together to stand up to a bully, encouraging them to reach out to excluded peers, celebrating acts of kindness, and reinforcing the availability of adult support. Ensuring that adults are visible and vigilant in common areas, such as hallways, cafeterias, locker rooms, and playgrounds. This includes being aware of behavior on the bus, and on the way to and from school for children who walk, as these are important parts of the school day. Parents can be active partners in preventing bullying. You are your child’s most important source of support and learning for positive behaviors. Following are a few suggestions to help your child. Be aware of changes behavior or attitudes.Children who are bullied often give signals that something is wrong. They may become withdrawn or be reluctant to go to school and can experience physical symptoms such as headaches, stomachaches, or problems sleeping. Talk to your child about their concerns and reassure them that you will work with school to stop the behavior. Let us know if your child is being bullied. Call the principal or the teacher, and/or utilize the anonymous drop box on the district website. Offer strategies to counter bullying. Useful strategies include standing up for themselves verbally, such as saying “I don’t like what you said/or did,” or “You can say whatever you want but it’s not true;” walking away from the bully; using humor (practice funny comebacks with your child); thinking of positive images or statements about themselves to bolster self-esteem; and getting help from an adult. Praise your child for appropriate social behaviors. “Catch” your child doing something good and offer positive reinforcement. Encourage him or her to support their peers, (e.g., asking a lonely classmate to eat lunch or sticking up for a child being teased). Monitor television and video games. Help your child build positive social relationships. Identify peers with whom they get along. Suggest things they can do together, (e.g., study, each lunch, come home after school, go to the movies). Also, finding a variety of activities that your child enjoys and does well can help build self-esteem and confidence. Use alternatives to physical punishment. Consistent alternatives, such as the removal of privileges or additional chores, serve as more effective consequences than physical punishment for inappropriate or difficult behavior. Supervise your children and their friends. Stop bullying behavior immediately. Have the “aggressor” practice alternative behaviors. It is very important our children know that adults can and will help them if they are being bullied. Please encourage your child to talk to you, the school counselor or another trusted adult if they feel threatened or isolated. Together we can continue to create a healthy, safe, positive learning environment for all our children.